The Friendship Cut

I just did some fall cleaning. Of my Facebook friends.

I purged my facebook list of about 300 people. Here are 10 reasons you may have been cut:

1 - We have never actually met. We are in a mutual photography group on Facebook or something, so you added me as a friend. I think we should just keep it to the mob-like group setting though, okay?

2 - I looked at your name and couldn't figure out who you were. I went to your page and discovered this was because you had gotten married and changed your name. I realized I didn't know you had gotten married, so concluded that we aren't good enough friends to keep up the Facebook side of it either.

3 - I looked at your name and couldn't figure out who you were. I looked at your maiden name and couldn't figure out who you were. I looked at your photos and couldn't figure out who you were. Mystery person, I was almost tempted to keep you because when I looked at our "friendship" page we actually had written on each other's walls once each, and it even hinted at inside jokes we had together. Why do I not remember you at all?

4 - You post annoying political and/or religious statuses.

5 - We haven't spoken since high school. We weren't even good friends then.

6 - You are the spouse of someone I am kind of friends with, and I can get any information about the two of you I need from them.

7 - You are one of Anders/Nils/Daniel's friends. Even a few cases that were friends of my parents. Thank you for being their friend. Please do not assume that my unfriending you in any way speaks for their feelings toward you. Continue to be their friend.

8 - You were a photography client that I friended so I could tag you on my business page. I wish you all the best!

9 - We were just in a ward together once, so our friendship status was a result of the night after the first ward prayer, when FRIEND-EVERYONE! happened.

10 - I thought about one of my statuses/photos being on your feed, and that felt weird to me.

Bonus - You are Nakita, and you had three accounts on my list. The two inactive ones are now gone. ;)

Double bonus - You have a joint facebook account with your spouse, and I hate that.

The above reasons each had exceptions. Five common exceptions to the above -

1 - I didn't recognize your name right off, but on closer inspection realized you were going to school right now with Jeff. My apologies, I'm still learning all of your last names. He tends to refer to you at home as things like "Laura from Wisconsin" and "Rachel from Vienna" so it is taking some time.

2 - You were a photography client that I feel like became an actual friend. Thank you.

3 - Although we aren't close now, I think our paths may cross again in the future, and it's easier to just leave things be.

4 - Even though we haven't spoken in a long time, I really really like you and think you are awesome. I want to see where life takes you.

5 - I don't even know what it is, but some people were logical choices to unfriend, and I just couldn't do it. Congratulations. You have some special it factor, I guess.

If you read this and then went to check and discovered you had been unfriended, please feel free to re-add me. If you care enough about me to read my blog, you obviously do belong in my online world.